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It has become normal to cancel on one another because we are so desperate to avoid even the most minor discomfort. It must cease immediately
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Opinion — Johanna Cosgrove
It’s a Thursday night. You are sitting on the couch (the TV is on or you could be reading a book but most likely you are doom-scrolling). You know full well that you have plans to meet a dear friend who you’ve been “meaning to catch up with for ages!” at the pub down the road in exactly 45 minutes.
Maybe this friend has been going through a rough time? Maybe they’ve got some exciting news about a perfect Hinge date (rare and shocking)? Maybe you’ve simply been “ships in the night” sailing through the capitalist rat race and miss each other’s company.
Either way, this hangout is premeditated and has been organised in advance with many exclamations of excitement. However, there is but one tiny problem: you no longer want to go. You are just … comfortable where you are.
Related: Community-maxxing: gen Z are done with doomscrolling – and ready to socialise
You vaguely start calculating the hours left in the day – you might want to go to the gym in the morning (despite not having gone in weeks) and work was slightly strenuous today (you had to actually do your job).
You pick up your phone to text them something along the lines of “Massive day today – can we postpone? Maybe the weekend after next? Don’t wanna have a big one on a school night!” None of this is due to any sort of change of heart towards your pal: you simply can’t be bothered.
I think the most alarming thing about this scenario is how real it is. It’s been me. It’s been you. It might even be you right now, reading this article.
The swing into prioritising self care over endless hustle has swung too far and now it is completely normal to cancel on one another because we are desperate to avoid even the most minor discomfort, ie going out in public and down the road for a perfect glass of wine. Using the excuse of “it’s a school night” feels particularly sinister coming from a (usually) millennial or gen Z who hasn’t attended school in over a decade.
The self-infantilisation must cease immediately!
On a personal note, I’ve spent the last year firmly reacquainting with my personal capability. I am extremely capable! And actually … we all are. I now lie in bed at night, grinding my molars to nubs, vowing to stop any and all weak behaviours. Being unable, as a fully functioning adult with the gift of a healthy body and mind, to get up off the couch for no reason other than “cbf” is weak. You will catch me muttering to myself “being uncomfortable is not the same as being unsafe”. Life is precious and living is a verb. Insufferable? Sure! But! I don’t think I’m wrong.
We have become addicted to comfort – we can order anything direct to the door, we “connect” with others through our phones, we are entertained by TikTok and Netflix and endless gaming options. We can live our lives in the hikikomori style – without ever having to engage with another human person. My feed is clogged with videos of skinny people glamorising “protecting your peace”, “self-dating” and doing expensive morning and evening routines (alone). I’m constantly besieged by muted infographics encouraging me to lean into my “soft girl era” which really feels like … laziness repackaged.
The insipid emphasis on seclusion is far too normalised. Humans are social.
We need our friends and our communities more than ever. We need to feel real connection and prioritise our actual relationships over a 30-second video from someone we will never meet. “Popping over for a chat” is almost a lost art. In this digital age, with the horrifying tendrils of AI draining our water reservoirs, poised to topple entire creative industries, getting in a room together feels unfortunately more and more radical by the year.
So, if you’ve said you’re gonna do something with a mate – do it.
News flash: the world is a hot mess right now and no one really wants to do anything. We’ve all got full calendars. Say no upfront! Being with our friends IRL is a joy and a treat not a chore, and energy actually begets more energy (one thing the fitness girls are right about). It’s time to collectively get a grip. Go out and have some fun – I promise it’s always better than staying on the couch.
Johanna Cosgrove is an award-winning actor/writer/comedian
Maybe this friend has been going through a rough time? Maybe they’ve got some exciting news about a perfect Hinge date (rare and shocking)? Maybe you’ve simply been “ships in the night” sailing through the capitalist rat race and miss each other’s company.
This report is published with credit to theguardian.com. Full available text from the wire is above. Read on theguardian.com →
Source: theguardian.com · Johanna Cosgrove. Published 27 Aug 2026, 03:00 pm.
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